I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
