Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
