She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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