protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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