you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
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There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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