Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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