Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
