Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
