I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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