Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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