She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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