Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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