You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
