It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
