I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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