Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
