Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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