guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
