If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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