Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When are your genitals available?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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