dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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