3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
