Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
