i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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