Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
