Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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