i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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