he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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