Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
