you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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