I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
