ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize