Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The best revenge is premature balding
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
