I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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