my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
