Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
