Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
