I hate your face
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
