so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
