You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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