My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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