I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
