it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
