8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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