Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize