$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
