Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
