You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
