I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
