I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
