I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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