He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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