the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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