my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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