If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize