im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
