I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
