I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
