And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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