this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
