So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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