Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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