Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
