U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
